The Super Momma : #musings

Showing posts with label #musings. Show all posts

BEING NAKED. WHY OR WHY NOT?

The Super Momma 3:39 AM #musings , 10 Comments

I know this topic often gets debated over mommy groups and a lot of mommies have different views about this. Much like Scary Mommy, we stand naked in front our our children.

WHY? Okay first, before you raise your brows on me, I would like to cite our reasons. This was a mutual decision between me and baby daddy so…

Our body is a natural thing; it is something given to us by God that we have to cherish it. We want the kids to feel comfortable about themselves and about their body and the way to do it is how we normally do it at home. We go take a bath and dress up and also our kids and not minding we stand naked in front of them--think of Adam and Eve and the creation in the Bible.

FEED THE CURIOUS MIND. When kids start to ask questions like why, how and what, that is the right time to educate them about the anatomy and physiology of our body. AGAIN, you have to explain it to them like how it was explained in our Science books, NO MALICE. The key in doing it is you have to engage them in conversation in order for you to know the extent of their knowledge about our body. My kids started to ask questions when they turned 4ish when they knew that their body parts are different from us.

EDUCATE. This is where you tell them who are the only persons allowed to touch our body. You also have to tell them about the boundaries. My kids wear whatever they want here at home because that is how they are comfortable with. But if there are visitors, they immediately rush to their rooms and get their clothes changed. Teach them what is the appropriate outfit for every occasion.

OPEN COMMUNICATION. As the grow older, they will throw more questions. Do not curtail their curiosity. Engage them in conversation so that they will feel confident to share sensitive issues regarding their body as soon as they age. Also, remind them that our body is not something to be shared to others. We also tell our children not to make fun or tell jokes about our body and don’t get that idea to shame others.

Again, I am sharing with you our stand regarding this. I respect your family’s decision about this because to each his own.

Say a Prayer, Save a Mom

The Super Momma 10:03 AM #musings , 0 Comments

After a long week of hiatus, I am now finally back. But before anything else, please allow me to pour my heart out here in this blogpost. After the week long of hulabaloo from the crazy heat, the weeklong adventures, the crazy migraine, here I am trying to bounce back.

My kids attended the trial class workshop of Trumpets last week. It was the time where Uber have finally merged with Grab and started our dilemma. If you are a mom like me without nanny and has to bring all the children with you all the time, you know how I feel about it. But then again, it will not stop me from doing things just because convenience is out of the picture. My two kids are 6 and 7 and can understand what it is outside their house. So we ended up taking the commute (tryk and jeepney) because Grab is overly expensive and we always ended up getting cancelled. Yes, that is so annoying. Anyway, I don't mind taking PUV's, it reduces traffic from too many cars on the road plus it will help me train my kids to be street smart. The only downside to it is that, the PUV's we're taking are either outdated or the drivers are very unruly.

Moving on, despite the scorching heat, hassle having to lug the kids around while waiting for the kuya's and ate's workshop, having to deal with the youngest's tantrums, need to get myself checked by an optha, did grocery with the kids, I am proud to say, I survived them all! It wasn't easy but I did it! Now here comes the sad part, with all the hulabaloo happened I got stares that is telling me what in the crazy world was I thinking? Why don't I have a yaya? I remember writing the reasons why in this post six years ago. So technically, I am yayaless seven years now and counting. Just imagine the joy and stress I have accumulated throughout the years and note that in those years, I rarely get to rest and unwind all by myself.

The past week has been stressful enough. It was the onset of summer, the heat was unforgiving and causing my extreme migraine. I get really irritated easily when the kids fight, every single mess and the never ending chores that I have to face at home. I'm sure you will tell me, this is what I want then so be it!

After all the sacrifices and good things I have done, I am being looked upon/judged like I was the worst of the worst mom ever? I get that children will really push you to your limits but of course I am a mom and a human being capable of getting exhausted and hurt. My whole world is not with me lately. In short, I am just tired. Then there's stares. How do you expect me/other moms to feel?

Standing in front of the cashier at the mall without shoes on.

Most people are looking at us like we are maltreating the children and staring how we are imposing discipline to the children. I want to raise my children behaved in the most possible way, respectful and disciplined. So I am doing the best way I know how in order for them not to grow up brats. So the only help I would like to get from other people is that to at least say a prayer for every mom. All we really need is for us to feel that we are still doing a great job despite all the challenges. After all, it takes a community to raise children.

So instead of judging parents, please, say a prayer. That is what we all need.

To all the moms out there, you are all doing a great job. Sending my prayers to you and the challenges you are facing. Everything is going to be fine.

The Grumpy Mom

The Super Momma 1:00 AM #musings , personal 0 Comments

I am THE grouchy mom.

The past two weeks, my life has been so redundant. Well, has it not been? I should say that my life has been crazily redundant by being a monster mom. It is so tiring and I am not happy about it. Eversince mom left from her two-week vacation, I felt like I am way too exhausted to adult again. I had laid out my plans prior to her coming here, that at last, I could have a little time to myself and away from the children. When you are a SAHM and no help, you will be overwhelmed with it. But no, none of those plans happened and my mom already left. I was sad and at the same time fine about it for a week but then, it dawned on me that I really needed a break. I had the chance to do it but I wasn't able to.

What displeases me most is when the children’s attitude is getting way out of hand and I am not liking the way I discipline them when it happens because I feel like I loose control of my emotions, wherein I should be the one teaching them how to manage theirs and here I am... losing it. I am the one doing tantrums and it is not right. But then again, what can I do?

Deal with it.

While I continue to whine about my temporary misery, I think about what others are going through. Some has heavier burdens than I. Some don't even have food on their tables, and we have some and even eat more than five times. Others cannot afford to buy clothes and we are clothed decently. What am I saying is, I am still lucky to have problems and somehow feel like this. It means I am blessed because I am able to assess myself and know that despite the temporary woes every SAHM face, I still have a lot of things to thank for. Waking up everyday and be with my family is more than enough to thank for. My children could be rowdy, but at least, they let me feel that I am their mom and they need me to take care of them. My house could get more messy most of the time, but it reminds me that I have a decent house to live in. Every crumb in the dining table could be more annoying, but it is a great reminder that I am still blessed that we have food on the table.

Oftentimes, our emotions could overpower our minds. That is when we think that everyday is misery and that we are not entitled to a good life. But know that, every complain we make is already a good life. We can never complain on something unless we have it. Don't we?

So there. I may be a grumpy mom most of the time, but I am always and forever thankful for being one. Because if not, I will never realize how lucky I am to be blessed with my beautiful children. I will never realize how lucky I am to have a family that I serve and love everyday.

Let us all hug every mom out there. It is okay to be grumpy sometimes. It is a reminder that you are doing good. It is a reminder to keep going because the very reason why you are frustrated and losing it sometimes are the very reason why you are called--MOM.

Letter to My First Born On His 7th Birthday

The Super Momma 8:17 PM #musings , personal 0 Comments

Dear My Love,

Several years ago, I wished to become a mom for the reason that I want to have a family of my own and have a reason for my existence. Everything was falling a part that time. I felt like losing all of what I worked for because everything is not going my way.

But then you came, those tears of failures vanished. In an instant, it became joy. All of a sudden, I am growing a lovely human being inside and from that moment on, I fell inlove once again. The hate and sorrows turned into bliss and laughter. Those months of you in my womb gave me endless anxiety because I was a first time mom. But you never gave me a hard time. You made me strong that I never knew I was. I bravely faced all tests, needles and the pain I have to endure just to see you and hold you in my arms. When I saw you from the OR, you were the most wonderful gift ever given to me. I felt complete.

Please continue to be a good boy and responsible eldest to your siblings. I hope you achieve your dreams one day and that you will never fail to be as humble and as a loving son to us. May you become successful with all your endeavours. We will be here to support you all the way, please remember that.

Happiest birthday my love. We love you so much!

Love,

Mama

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Of Responsibilities And Parenting

The Super Momma 3:21 AM #musings , 0 Comments

I grew up to a traditional household where the mom is the only one who does the chores inside the house while the dad does the outdoor stuff but, so much have changed. My dad who is not home most of my formative years because of work, my mom learned to do manly things on her own. The rest of the chores, our househelp did it for us.

There came a time when we were old enough to fend for our own, mom decided not to get househelp anymore. They were really such a mess. It suddenly dawned on us, that from that time on, we were the ones to wash the dishes, sweep the floor and basically make the house spic and span. It. Was. Hard. We felt like punished because it was never in our daily routine that we need to do such.

Reality kicks in when I started to build my own family, it was really hard to look for a trusted househelp. Raising kids and managing the house and everything else in between has become my number one priority. My developed habit of putting everything in order has put to a challenge when I had my eldest. I must admit it was really hard because I couldn’t entrust everything to his nanny. Me, my trust issues, my vision of having a spic and span place and hopefully land a career whilst taking care of him that time was part of it. Imagine my frustration when I couldn’t even accomplish one thing. It was just so overwhelming and frustrating all at the same time.

What I did was, to re-envision what I really wanted my family and children to become one day. I reflected on those times where it was hard for me to lift my finger, get the broom and sweep the entire house. I felt like I was punished and even loved less for making me doing it. Yep, I don’t have any idea why I came to that point.

At the age of 16 months, I started to teach my eldest to pack away his toys and googled all the age appropriate chores for all ages. I wanted to change something how I will raise my kids and hopefully they will not feel being loved less just because they are tasked to do things.

I want to instill in them that at their young age they have certain responsibilities at home and the society, and such responsibilities has corresponding consequences. Others, may or may not be favorable with this but I just want my kids to be life ready early on.

I want them to value each member of the household’s responsibilities and respect them. I want them to love the place we live in and take care of it. There may come a time that they will change, and hope for the better. There will come a time that they will choose to live the lives on their own and I want to give their future partners in life the gift of having a responsible person.

I am thankful that all those six years of trying to be a role model and giving constant reminder to my eldest has somehow paid off. My eldest knows now when to keep his room tidy and clean and even lead his sister to do the organizing of their stuff. He keeps everything and makes sure that everything else is tidied before going to school.

Some might say, I may be too harsh on him/ on them but I know they will thank me one day. And I would love to see that day where they are already on their own.